LIMA — Carolyn’s family expanded when her daughter Sam, 16, gave birth to AJ.
But the 1-year-old girl, who was born at just 26 weeks with schizencephaly, a rare defect that can cause epilepsy, motor deficits and a slowing down of thought and reduction of physical movements, has had to overcome a lot of uncertainty. That uncertainty has now given way to an uncertain Christmas for the family.
“Well, since the baby’s been here we haven’t been able to afford any sort of extra things,” said Carolyn, who is raising her children alone and helping Sam parent AJ. “But I saw on the news that the Salvation Army was doing Adopt-a-Stocking on the last day. So I asked if they had an extra spot and they asked me to put a synopsis of what we were going through.”
Carolyn, who recently went back to work, had previously been working midnights and had to delay her graduation to become a nurse when AJ was born.
Despite that, though, she and Sam were determined to raise her no matter what the circumstances.
“All we knew was that the baby was on the way,” Carolyn said of the day Sam found out there were complications with her pregnancy prematurely. “When we got there, we found out that she had schizencephaly. It’s like a cleft lip, but it’s in her brain. She’s fine, but she just has excessive fluid in an opening in her brain. Finding that out hurt, but the first thing my daughter said was, ‘Mom, I’ll change her diapers forever if I have to.’ I told her that we’re not the author of life so we don’t take it away. When she touched her nose, I knew she had coordination.”
Fortunately, despite doctors being uncertain of her life expectancy, AJ is able to crawl, walk, talk and sing, although she does have trouble staying balanced sometimes.
“Our emotions were all over the place,” said Carolyn. “I just knew that she would walk and talk in my heart. And then she just progressed every month. She’s a little bit behind, but she has physical therapists that come over and help her out twice a week.”
Even with this positive outlook, though, the family is still struggling with the possibility of a joyous Christmas, along with basic needs like food.
“We give it all to her,” said Carolyn. “We sometimes struggle with food and it’s not always easy. We moved here about nine years ago and when we moved here we went to the shelter. Family Promise found us a home. So we’re not as bad off as we were, but sometimes if I don’t maintain the rent and lighting and gas, we’ll have a problem. I don’t make much and we struggle with clothes and trying to make the baby happy.”
The family could not even afford to put up lights on the Christmas tree they were gifted earlier this year. They were also forced to give up cable and internet, among other things to make ends meet.
“Clothing and household supplies kind of get taken away and off the list when I have to pay the rent and car and lights and gas,” said Carolyn. “I always put myself last so I never have anything and I’m used to it because I’ve always done it with the kids anyhow, but since AJ’s been here it’s been super rough. They can’t get the things that they need or look the part of social kids with their peers.”
Carolyn said that she even had to give up her couch and a bedroom set to keep things together.
But clothes, including underwear, shoes, boots and winter coats are at the top of the list for the family’s needs for this season.
Sam wears a size five shoe, Daisy, 11, wears a size six, Carolyn wears a size eight and the baby wears a size five.
“For clothes, she’s about a 3T,” said Carolyn about AJ. “She has a lot of summer stuff so she doesn’t have any winter things and I keep her here so she doesn’t have to go outside.”
Both daughters wear medium-sized coats while Sam wears medium-sized pants and Daisy wears large-sized pants. Carolyn said that she is a size 14 and wears large and medium tops.
And any necessities for AJ would be sure to help.
“Learning toys for her, diapers and wipes would help us,” said Carolyn.
Carolyn said that it would mean a significant deal to see someone step up.
“They’re so used to having presents under the tree,” she said. “And my younger daughter is looking at me asking what I’m doing and I tell her we’ll figure it out and that she’s going to have people bringing presents on the 21st. But just to see them smile and be happy is a joy for me. If anyone could help us, I’d be ever so grateful and appreciative.”
ADOPT A STOCKING
The Adopt a Stocking Fund benefits families during the holiday season. Monetary donations can be given online at give.salvationarmy.org/stocking or via Adopt A Stocking; c/o The Salvation Army; P.O. Box 234, Lima, OH 45801. All material donations for a specific family should be dropped off at The Salvation Army, 614 E. Market St., Lima, and should include a copy of the article or the date the story appeared in The Lima News. See past stories at LimaOhio.com/tag/stocking.
Reach Jacob Espinosa at 567-242-0399.
