Independence is a new reality in the house when it comes to Maylie and the girls.
Independence Day: the day when the 13 colonies adopted the Declaration of Independence, resulting in our country’s freedom. As we prepare to celebrate this holiday this week, I couldn’t help but think of the many changes of independence in my life as a mother.
A few years ago, I wrote about some of the Mommy freedoms that I was enjoying at that stage of my life like bathroom trips alone or Walmart trips kid-free. With a toddler and preschooler running around, moments to myself were rare and I soaked up every single second that I actually had to myself.
I remember longing for the days when I didn’t have babies sneaking into my room in the middle of the night, or when I could sleep in on a Saturday, or when I could have ten minutes to collect my thoughts without a million questions, or when I could skip on providing every single meal for them and just get a break.
It was exhausting and overwhelming when I was in the thick of it. And so, as a parent, I spent my days teaching my babies how to become more independent – how to not need me as much so that I could get some of my own personal freedoms back.
But then, somewhere along the way — and I am not sure exactly when or where or how — it all flipped.
Suddenly, I no longer wake up to babies in my bed for cuddles or even quick morning snuggles on a Saturday. They know how to pour cereal and milk and can turn on the TV or their tablets, so they don’t even bother waking me. They don’t need help rinsing the soap out of their hair in the bath. In fact, they pretty much just take showers now and do that all on their own.
Alexa or Google or Siri can answer all of their questions, and they do it much quicker than I did between multitasking with dinner and all the other nightly checklist items. Heck, I don’t even have to wake them up in the morning half of the time, they can ask them to set an alarm for them!
If I cut it in half, the girls can do the scooping out of the watermelon and Maylie has become a pro at making mac ’n’ cheese, noodles and rice, and she can even handle the peeling of cucumbers! It’s like, I don’t even need to plan dinners anymore, although I still do! That’s mainly because I run them so much from here to there and everywhere that family dinner is about the only time that I have to really dive into them and ask all the questions, you know, like they used to do to me.
Looking back, it’s funny how quickly those first long years of their lives actually went. And how much I longed for my freedom during that time and now, miss those days when my babies needed me more.
Sure, I know this is part of life. As parents, it is our job to make sure our kids are responsible and independent, that they can one day go out and be on their own in this world. But I think I just need that time to slow down a bit. I feel like I tried so hard for those first few years to make them more independent and well, now I just want them to depend on me just a little bit more.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not kicking them out yet. Ha! They are not ready to be without me completely, thankfully, because I am absolutely not ready for that. But we are at a point where freedoms become more and more each passing day.
From a crib to our house to our neighborhood to the world, I feel like they are no longer always within my grasp. I can no longer smack something out of their hand if it could harm them or put up gates to keep them out of areas that they should not be in. I just have to trust that I have taught them well enough for them to set their own boundaries in this world.
While that is overwhelmingly gut-wrenching to think about, I am thankful for the opportunity to raise my babies in a country where we can be free and build a life full of liberty and happiness, where I can guide and release my girls to be independent women one day.
Thank you to all the past and present men and women who have fought for this country, to our forefathers who made this dream a reality and to all those in the future who will continue to make this the greatest country. Our independence (even that of my baby girls) is more than appreciated.
Happy Fourth of July!
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her daughters and writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.
