A prideful Mama watches her girl growing into a show stopper.
Last Sunday evening, with a packed house, my Maylie sang a solo playing Mother Mary in the Church Christmas Concert. Mind you, her solo part was sharing the chorus back and forth with the stand-in Joseph, but still! She had moments where the only voice being heard in the microphone was hers! My Maylie’s!
You guys, listen… Last summer (2021) this little girl literally had a panic attack over what to order for breakfast. Like, I kid you not, we ended up getting her the more expensive buffet just so she could have a little bit of everything and settle down. She was a ball of anxiety and brokenness.
To make matters even worse, I knew that I had to take some of the blame in her brokenness. After all, going through all the family changes and the instability of life while adjusting to our new normal filled us all with anxiety.
And I am not going to sit here and sugar coat it. It was awful. Not just going through it myself but juggling and learning how to help my babies cope as well. There were dark days and a lot of tears – times where I felt like the worst mother in the world not being able to “fix” it all for them.
But, instead of dwelling on not having an “easy” button, the girls and I worked through it. There were days of seeing a counselor – for both the girls and me. We learned so much about big feelings, anxiety, lack of control and dove deeper into prayer. When small situations seemed unbearable to handle, we broke them down to even smaller parts and weeded through each one individually until we could feel some sort of peace in the situation.
It has taken 2 years and a ton of work by all of us – we had help from dear friends stepping in and reaching out – and even began to see lessons and takeaways from situations out in the world around us. We have talked through, prayed through, loved through and learned through so many different feelings and emotions.
Slowly, we started to trust again – not only where life had us at the moment, but also who we were in this life. Confidence, belief and security soaked back into us. We remembered that we know what we want for breakfast – we became sure of our decisions, thoughts and feelings.
A few weeks ago, Maylie received an invite to a friend’s birthday party that happened to fall on the same day as baking day with my family and Christmas celebrating with her Dad’s family. In an effort to keep her from having to make an anxious decision about which one to do, I made the decision – she would skip the birthday party, hit her dad’s Christmas and then hit the end of baking day with my family.
Maylie, my Maylie, she didn’t throw a fit, but she also wasn’t satisfied with my decision. So, calmly, she came to me with solid points to share on why she believed she should go to the party – including how not many people were going to be at the Shrader Christmas party, mainly people she sees everyday – her dad, Auntie L (her sitter) and Uncle Greg. She indicated that the party was at a place that she goes to often and yet had never been to the place the birthday party was at. Then, she sealed the deal with the fact that she could still hit the end of baking day.
Dumbfounded, I sat there and stared at her. She was absolutely right. Upon clearing it with her dad, she will be attending that birthday party this weekend.
Still when this girl told me she wanted to go for the solo part of Mary in the Christmas choir, I was a little nervous for her. Nevertheless, we practiced over and over nightly until tryouts. When she got the part, I was so excited – except she had never sang in front of a small crowd – much more an entire church!
And guys, I am completely biased because she is mine and all, but seriously, she knocked it out of the park! And while my mama heart beamed at her talent and ability to sing, my mama eyes sobbed tears of joy at how far she has come.
My Maylie – the little girl who shook with fear at tiny decisions just a year ago, confidently walked up on that altar and praised the Lord with the voice He has given her like she believed that she belonged up there.
And she did.
While I am amazingly proud of the talent she has singing, I am not sure that anything can compare to the pride in my heart of watching that child stand in confidence up on that altar. Truly, an answered prayer and a most memorable Christmas gift that will forever be treasured.
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her daughters and writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.
