Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I have a longtime, very close friend whom I don’t see often because they moved to another state. When I saw her a month ago, she had two long chin hairs plus a really fuzzy face. I saw her a week later and they were still there. How can I tactfully tell her about using a women’s facial hair remover? I think she would be embarrassed and maybe very sensitive about the subject.
— Joy I.
Dear Joy: First of all, as we age, errant facial hair in women is natural. Bummer! I’m guessing your friend has no idea that she’s got stray chin hairs — since another fact of life of the aging process is declining vision. Without a good magnifying mirror, your friend might never know she’s got an issue. So, ask yourself, if the situation was reversed, — and you had the facial hair problem — what would you want your very close friend to do? Start there. If it’s say nothing, then take your own advice. Easier said than done, I know.
Your options here are:
• Mind your own business
• Be blunt
• Make it about you (in other words, be a little deceptive)
Minor deception is the easiest way to go. You could bring up the subject of the downside of growing older: age spots, crepey skin, thinning hair, weird facial hairs. “I had some surprise facial hair and here’s what I found to fix it” is one way to introduce the topic.
Or, if you are truly dear friends, just be direct: “Caroline, you know you are gorgeous, but maybe you haven’t noticed a couple of facial hairs that would be easy to do something about ….” If you’re not truly close friends, you might want to do as my pal Judy related, “There’s a woman in my condo complex who had a full beard. I didn’t say a word.”
Here are some ways to deal with unwanted hair: waxing (DIY with a drugstore kit or salon waxing); bleaching (DIY drugstore kit, which I do not recommend; it’s smelly, can burn and really doesn’t conceal the hair very well); threading; plucking (with seriously good tweezers — like Tweezerman — and a magnifying mirror); laser (expensive but effective; requires a professional and a dermatologist can refer you to an expert in this); electrolysis (which kills the hair root, hurts a bit, often requires repeat visits and isn’t cheap, also ask a dermatologist for recommended experts); shaving (there are many gentle devices like Finishing Touch Flawless, $19.99 at ulta.com). Readers, how do you handle this delicate issue?
Dear Answer Angel Ellen: Like many women, I wash my face at bedtime and apply moisturizer. I have noticed that the moisturizer gets on my pillowcase and it stays there even after washing. I’ve tried different detergents, double washing, etc. Any suggestions?
— Linda L.
Dear Linda: I am a big believer in pre-wash stain treatment. For months this stuff has been off the shelves at the grocery and drugstores where I shop. My go-to products when/if I find them are Shout Laundry Stain Remover spray and Spray ‘n Wash Spray or stick. I just used the stick on a grease-stained T-shirt that I thought was hopeless and it worked beautifully. I’m about to try OxiClean liquid stain remover, which was on a near-empty shelf in the detergent aisle.
Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I have a pet peeve with venues that put their air conditioning on at meat locker levels. I know the people on the dance floor appreciate it, but I don’t. So I know I need to bundle up. But when I shop all I find are sleeveless dresses and/or jackets made of lace or chiffon. A lightweight sweater, pashmina or shrug just isn’t enough for me. My son’s wedding is coming up this summer and I want to look nice but not freeze.
— Susan J.
Dear Susan: You’re right. There’s not much out there to keep you warm and stylish at dressy affairs. The options are especially limited for wear in a warm climate with frosty air conditioning. I know you don’t want to be wearing a wool jacket or heavy sweater for a summer wedding. Pashminas are usually pretty lightweight, but they do come in heavier wool or cashmere that don’t look as “winter” as most woolen options. An internet search for “heavy shawl wrap” turned up some appropriate styles on etsy.com and a “Thick Soft Cashmere Wool Shawl Wrap” in 14 colors (amazon.com, $33.49).
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