Sometimes it can seem like a new situation will never get figured out. But when it does, a wonderful friendship can blossom.
Courtesy of Sarah Shrader
I never wanted a boy. Seriously, when I was pregnant with Reagan, everyone would say, “oh, I hope you have a boy, so you have one of each.” While I was mainly praying for happy and healthy, I was secretly praying for another girl. I knew girls – I mean, I am one. I had all sisters, and I already had a baby girl. I was elated when they told me that Reagan was a girl as well.
And so, when this 11-year-old boy walked into my life two years ago, I was like um, what do I do with him? I don’t really know how boys work. Not only that, but it’s not like I got him as a baby and could learn about him, he was already more than half way on his way to college when I first met him. He was practically grown!
Funny how God prepares you for things that you have no idea you are ready for. Or how God knew I needed a boy in my life even if it meant I wouldn’t birth him. And how I hope that one day he feels like God brought me into his life as well.
This week, my bonus boy, Bubba – I mean Randall (I am not allowed to call him Bubba anymore in front of his friends), turns 14. He is Randall the fourth, so his Mama nicknamed him Bubba as a baby, and it stuck. The entire time I have known him, he has been Bubba to me. His mom passed away from cancer when he was barely four, but his nickname lived on.
When I first met this boy, I was almost certain he was more responsible than I was. This kid set his own alarms, found his own clothes, did great in school and knew how to cook. He almost scared me with how grown up he was. Yes, I know, I lucked out on all of that part of having a boy (or so I am told). He is truly a great kid.
And while he may have come into my life as a kid who seemed to be grown, who didn’t need anyone and who could take on the world, after some time, he opened up enough to see that as big and bad as he may be, he was still a kid at heart that needed loved. It is not easy to love a teenage boy that you didn’t raise – not because he was hard to love! But because I didn’t know how to love a teenage boy that I didn’t raise.
It has taken time for trust to build between us. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to know all about him – I just didn’t want to pry into this boy that barely knew me. But, as time went on, he started opening up more and more. Now, when he comes home from school and wants to tell me about his day or gets excited to tell me how much he did at lifting, or brags on himself about another good grade, I soak it all in!
He is the king of Farkle – our favorite game on family game night. We have made it our thing that each trip we take both of us get one of those huge jawbreakers and race to see who can finish it first (he always wins).
This year, he tried track for the first time. Before his first meet, I was telling him that I had to leave work early to get there and he kind of cut me off saying I didn’t have to come. Immediately, I was like um, I WANT to come. I will be there! The smile he tried to hide from me when he heard my words almost melted my heart.
And guys, he is hilarious. I know they say teenage years are hard, but they are also so funny. This guy knows the exact moment to crack a joke. At thirteen – almost fourteen – these kids understand more things than you expect. I know that’s not always a good thing, but he will throw out the one-liners that you have to scold him for, while trying to hold back the tears of laughter.
He is also an amazing big brother. He and Lynds share a special bond that sometimes comes out in sibling name calling and wrestling ha! But you can see the love he has for her. And when Reagan had a boy being mean to her in her class – Bubba immediately texted the boy’s older brother and told him to make him stop. He is the brother to my girls that they never had.
And while I thought I never wanted a boy and can only hope I am helping to raise him right, I am so very thankful that God brought him into my life – the son that I never knew I that I needed.
Happy 14th Birthday, Bubba (but please don’t tell him I called him that).
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her daughters and writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.
