Remember last week when I was so excited to get back into a routine and some normalcy? Yeah, what I failed to remember, or maybe blocked out, was the struggle in the couple of transition weeks attempting to get back into a schedule before school starts.
And whew, let’s just say that it is not going well over here. On night one, my goal was to have my girls in bed by 9:00 p.m. Guys, at 10:30 p.m, after many Reagan tears and Mommy tears, I finally had sleeping kids. It was a battle.
You see, Reagan has always been my cuddler – she wants me to stay next to her until she falls completely asleep. She has literally been like this since she was born. I don’t know how, but I am sure it is my fault; I mean, she is my baby! I wanted to cherish every single snuggle with her; my last baby to love on.
But, if I am being honest, it has been kind of nice this summer with her sleeping in the living room and not needing to be held every single night to just fall asleep. Oh, there were still plenty of nights I snuggled up with her; I just didn’t feel chained down until she fell asleep completely.
But her first night back in her room, she was relentless. And clearly, not used to going to bed that early. Every single excuse came out about why I needed to stay in there for an hour and a half (you know, with dishes in the sink and all the nightly tasks to get ready for the next day still weighing on my mind).
At first, it is flattering, right? Like, yes, my baby girl still wants to cuddle. But after a while it was like — um — I still need to do all the things. And that’s where I struggle the most. How many more nights will she want me to rub her face while she drifts off? And the mom guilt steps in.
You’re going to miss this, Sarah. One day, you are going to long for her to want you to stay in there with her – heck, maybe even beg her to let you snuggle up. And even one day — gulp — she won’t even be under your roof, and you won’t even have the option! That’s what keeps me hanging on. Just cuddle a little bit longer.
But life is so busy and so fast in this stage we are in. And sometimes the stress of it all takes over the guilt and looks at the clock and all that there is left to do. Mommy has to get up and finish all the things.
Then she cried. And I told her she was seven and it was probably time that she fell asleep on her own. Then she told me she didn’t want to be seven and wanted to stay little forever. So, I cried because I want her to as well. It’s a viscous cycle.
On day two, I was afraid of bedtime, so much so that when everyone decided fishing would be a good idea at 7:00 p.m., I caved. I mean, we don’t have many summer days left to just wing it. So, we did.
By day three, my mom and sis had picked up my girls for a pool day and they asked for a sleepover at my sister’s. At this point, we are never going to get on a schedule. Plus, it’s not like they can just have random sleepovers in the middle of the week once school starts. Another fail – or win in their books.
The next night, the exhaustion from the sleepover (and probably the trauma of the first night) caught up with Reagan and the teary “I miss daddy,” came out. Never will I keep these babies from their daddy so then ensued a late night trip to drop her off.
So yeah, we are totally killing this whole get back on a schedule thing. I am pretty sure that I am just going to call it quits and live our best lives for the next week or so and just wing it when school starts. I mean, we may all be exhausted and out of whack that first week of school, but I clearly do not have the willpower or desire to deal with it until I HAVE to do it.
I don’t know, we may try again next week, or maybe we won’t. It’s not like Labor Day weekend after the first week of school isn’t going to mess us up anyway.
We will get back on a schedule eventually. In the meantime, I am sure there will be tons of cuddles and probably some tears – Reagan’s and my own. But hey, I am guessing that by Christmas break or so, we will be all set.
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her daughters and writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.
