Dear Car Talk:
What is the most memorable road trip that you have ever taken? Please include make, model, year of vehicle, year of trip, occupants of said vehicle, origin, destination, highlights, lowlights, internal condition of vehicle at its worst during the trip, and any promises to God made during said trip.
I look forward to hearing your answer! — Mike
Thanks for the question, Mike.
I’ve taken many memorable road trips, but the first one that comes to mind happened around 1985.
My younger son was about 22 months old, and he was a holy terror. He was a toddling time bomb, always threatening to detonate into a shrieking meltdown.
Despite that, I somehow duped my family into taking a road trip from Boston to Montreal to do some sightseeing. So, we set out in my green 1976 Ford LTD with a bazillion miles on it. It had been a reliable car, and it was our family vehicle at the time.
We drive up there, and I drag the whole family around Montreal all day, and my younger son is an absolute nightmare. His favorite new phrase back then was “hate Dada.”
We managed to escape dinner just as one of his tantrums was erupting and got back to our hotel absolutely exhausted. It was a trying day for everybody, and the whole family is mad at me, because this was all my dumb idea.
So, we’re collapsing with exhaustion when the phone rings in the hotel room. I answer it, and there’s a man speaking with a heavy French accent.
“Alo, Meester Mag-lee-oo-zee?”
“Yes?”
“Ah, zees is Henri, ze concierge at ze hotel.”
“Yes?”
“Ahh, Meester Mag-lee-oo-zee, deed you used to own a green, Ford LTD?”
“What? Used to?
“Ah, Meester Mag-lee-oo-zee. I am very sorry, but zere haz been a terrible fire in ze hotel garage.”
“What? A fire?”
“Unfortunately, zee car has been totally destroyed. Burned to crisp! Car-bon-i-zay!
So, of course, my heart sank. No car. No way home. A 22-month-old terrorist in a crib. And then I heard the telltale sound of suppressed laughter on the other end of the line.
It wasn’t Henri. It was my brother, Tom, playing an awful, dirty trick on me. Well, it was a pretty good trick, actually. So, I was immediately relieved and then spent the whole ride back planning my revenge.
So that was forever known as the Great Montreal Hotel Fire trip, Mike.
If any of you folks have great, funny road trip stories, send them in and maybe we can print some of them.
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