It’s the season of goodbyes, as the end of the school year also means graduations and “see you later” quickly turns into “I wonder what ever happened to her.”
And for some people, that’s just too much to take. I’ve watched with confusion as my 8-year-old daughter struggled with one of her friends moving to Michigan last week.
She became quite tearful about it as their final day together approached. They’re only third-graders, but they’ve been inseparable for the past three years, when this girl stepped in for her “best friend forever” from kindergarten, who also coincidentally moved away to Michigan.
My daughter became visibly anxious as the day arrived. From outside perspectives, her friend dealt with it a lot better. She was excited about her upcoming move, closer to some cousins.
I have little personal experience with this situation. There was very little turnover in my small hometown. My parents still live in the home where I grew up. I attended school in the same building from kindergarten through my senior year. I never had a friend move away and can barely remember a handful of people coming in or out of my class over those 13 years.
If anything, I was always the person leaving. I left my hometown to go to college. I left college to take my first job here in Lima. I left my friends in Lima behind to take a job in Georgia. I left those folks behind for an opportunity in Virginia. Then I discarded those pals for a brief stint near Columbus before coming back to the Lima area.
In each of those cases, I left because of decisions I made. I was always excited about my moves. I was too selfish to think much about the people I left behind or how it left them feeling, aside from a passing regret that we wouldn’t be hanging out anymore.
My wife and I tried to explore that with my daughter. We reassured her she would be fine without her pal. We reminded her about the friends she already had here. We reminded her of how easily she made friends, based on the number of people calling out her name when we’re out in public. This spunky spitfire is easily more recognizable in our town than her columnist father, especially in the under-13 crowd.
That’s when her compassion turned our heads. Our daughter wasn’t upset because of the move’s effect on her. She was upset because of its possible effects on her friend.
She worried aloud whether her buddy would make new friends. She expressed concerns her pal wouldn’t like her new school. What if her friend’s new life wasn’t as good as her current one?
Sometimes your kids leave you speechless in a good way.
I’m happy to have a child who’s so concerned about others that she set aside her own worries and thought about her friend’s. I don’t honestly know what to tell her, aside from a certainty that kids are resilient, and her friend’s family will make sure she handles the move well.
I do know that with that kind of thoughtfulness and compassion, her friends still here are immensely lucky to have her around.
.neFileBlock {
margin-bottom: 20px;
}
.neFileBlock p {
margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px;
}
.neFileBlock .neFile {
border-bottom: 1px dotted #aaa;
padding-bottom: 5px;
padding-top: 10px;
}
.neFileBlock .neCaption {
font-size: 85%;
}
