First Posted: 1/22/2012
Back in my youth, I was a fearful fellow.I was afraid of heights. I was afraid of being teased. I was afraid of everything, frankly. Fear kept me in my comfort zone. Fear kept me from trying anything new. For me, all it took was one trip down a roller coaster to wipe that slate of fear clean. My senior class went to Cedar Point, and one of my fears overrode another. Peer pressure pushed me into a line for the first real roller coaster ride of my life. And I loved it.Suddenly, I wasn’t so worried about what other people would think or about that nagging voice in the back of my head, telling me I couldn’t do things. I realized the payoff was greater than the fear. The exhilaration of doing what you love overpowers the fear of failing.This story comes to mind as I try to understand my children. They still let fear keep them from enjoying their lives to the utmost.One of them recently joined a basketball team. She’s tall for her age, and she really enjoys shooting a basketball in our driveway hoop. She really liked the practices. Then, game time came. She was nervous, since it was her first game. She was self-conscious, not sure what exactly to do, but she blended in well. Then the buzzer sounded, and she froze.She’s sensitive to loud noises, and the fear of hearing that horn blow kept her from playing another minute of that game. Since then, we’ve found her earplugs, but she’s still terrified of when the clock ticks down to zero.The Easter Bunny seriously freaks out one of our other daughters. It doesn’t matter that he’s not around much this time of year. It doesn’t matter that we’ve respected her wishes to steer clear of E.B. If there’s a problem in the house, the Easter Bunny caused it, she’ll tell us with a worried, straight face.Another daughter suffers perhaps the worst kind of fear, the fear of failure. My wife says this daughter and I share that fear of failure, as I haven’t quite conquered that fear yet. The trouble with a fear of failure is it turns into a paralysis of action. You don’t try things because you don’t think you’ll master them. When you do try things, you become easily frustrated at your imperfections.Like most parents, I want my children to have a better experience growing up than I did. I don’t want my children to live in fear. I want them to see the world as an opportunity, not an obstacle.It’s a tough message to preach, when we all have our fears that hold us back. Sometimes, the best way forward is to think of how far we’ve come.In my youth, I was rather shy and awkward. Now I’m just awkward. Like so many other journalists, I chose this vocation to force myself outside my comfort zone, to push myself to be more extroverted and interact with others. Every time I speak in public, I marvel at how unlikely it seemed when I was a teen.That’s the message I’ll keep preaching to those around me. As I learned on that first roller coaster ride, the hardest part is getting over that first, terrifying hill. It’s all downhill from there.The only way to experience joys you’ve never experienced before is to overcome fears you’ve never overcome before.
