By David Trinko
The Lima News
For 364 days a year, Americans scoff at lies. We don’t want to hear them. We don’t want to say them. We want everyone to be as honest as the day is long.
Then, on April 1, we inexplicably welcome them, all day long, in the form of April Fools’ Day.
We’ve seen our children’s efforts at a hoax change over the years. When they were young, they loved to tell us we had something on our face, then yell, “April Fools!” Maybe they’d yell out something wrong, like “I don’t love you!” followed by “April Fools!” Sometimes that kind of hilarity ensued deep into May, when the novelty wore off.
Apparently it’s such a silly day that people struggle to trace it back to its roots. History.com says it’s likely related to France changing from New Year’s being in April to it being in January back in 1582, when it switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar. Supposedly the people who didn’t get the memo were considered April fools. Others suspect it’s centered around the vernal equinox and the unexpected weather that comes with it. Perhaps it’s related to the festivals of Hilaria in ancient Rome, when people dressed in disguises and mocked people.
Around here, most of the April Fools’ madness can be tied to one person, my high school sophomore.
For instance, last week a metal wall hanging that resembles a tree and its roots fell off the wall. When my 15-year-old hung it back up, she accidentally put it upside down, with the roots pointing upward and the tree branches pointing downward.
We conspired to leave it that way and see how long it took until everyone in the house noticed it. Her mom became aware of it Friday night. I suspect a few others won’t acknowledge it until they read this column.
We marked the day itself with a strangely complicated tale. Most of the family went off to Toledo to pick something up from their grandmother. I had an event in Lima and had to stay back.
To up the ante, though, our sneaky sophomore developed a wacky back story that they were also going to a pet store to pick up a Capybara, an oversized South American animal resembling a groundhog that’s sometimes called the “chillest rodent in the world.” Supposedly it was a reward for our sophomore’s grades and her early progress while learning to drive.
Everyone in the house is on on the joke except our 9-year-old, who really believes we’re planning on bringing a rodent that could reach 150 pounds into our home. We even suggested if “Barry” gets too big, we may have to move him from the basement into our third-grader’s room.
I’m not entirely sure I understand the point, other than they’ll all be able to yell “April Fools!” at her when they don’t actually buy a vermin that’s nearly her size.
I’ve never been very good at lying. I can deadpan something for a few minutes, but before long I have no choice but to blurt out the truth. Honesty is a noble trait to have when you’re in the truth-telling business. I’m glad I wasn’t part of the Toledo trip, as I don’t know that I could’ve kept up the charade very long.
Our 9-year-old managed to figure it out on her own as she ruminated about the day: “I love April Fools’ Day. Wait… Today is April Fools’ Day! We’re not getting a Capybara, are we?:”
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David Trinko is editor of The Lima News. Reach him at 567-242-0467, by email at [email protected] or on Twitter @Lima_Trinko.
