With so much to get done this time of year, Mama can’t forget to really take in the little moments.
Courtesy of Sarah Shrader
I love Christmas. And for the longest time, I thought that my love for Christmas was Christmas day – the day when it all comes to fruition, full of family and gifts and time off of school and work. But as I have gotten older, I have realized one thing – Christmas day has almost always brought me sadness.
Wait, let me back up here, it’s not that I don’t like Christmas day! It’s just that, well, Christmas day means that it is over – that the high of the season has reached its peak and that feeling of longing for something – or having something to look forward to, that feeling goes away as fast as it came.
And guys, seriously, every single year seems to go faster and faster – like a race to the end. It is so cliché but oh so real when they tell you that life just gets faster as it goes. It’s like the Christmas season started and then my Maylie reminds me, “Mom, Christmas is in 5 days!”
Um, what? No! Not yet. Slow down! It is coming too soon! I don’t want it to be over.
Don’t get me wrong, we lived it up again this Christmas season. Two times, we did Gingerbread Houses. We hit up two fun Christmas events two separate weekends downtown, put lights on the car and went Christmas light gazing, did the Christmas show at the Civic Center, had baking day at GG’s and saw the Grinch and multiple Santas.
But it all happened so fast! Between work, school, church choir, basketball and dance for both girls and Christmas shopping, I am not sure I even stopped to breathe and soak it in. I planned to soak it in – I wanted to soak it in – but I also didn’t want to miss out on anything, so I just planned and planned and planned.
And we hit all the things – ALL the things. It’s just that, they came and went so fast. But we were there – we made the memories, I am certain. But as Christmas day draws so near, I can’t help but tear up at the thought of another Christmas season passing with my girls.
It’s so hard this time of year – I struggle with being so thankful for our now and yet think about how few years I have left with my kids as, well, kids.
For instance, this darn elf. Yes, every year this elf annoys the crap out of me. But, this year, it was a little less annoying – like the lifetime of elf on the shelf is built on a hill; it is fun at first, then it’s the worst as your kids are in their prime “believe” years and you have to do fancy things nightly. Then as your kids age and are getting close to not believing (or don’t anymore), it gets sad.
I hate figuring out what to do with that elf every single night – but I love the joy that it brings my babies (even my non-believer) and will do it for 100 years to come if they let me.
Look, don’t think I am missing the reason for the season – we keep Jesus very much at the forefront – even reading his birth story before constructing Gingerbread houses this year. I know that Christmas day is literally the beginning of the greatest gift we have ever received. I KNOW this. And I am so thankful for this.
It is just hard as a Mama to grasp that another year has gone by – another Christmas with these girls that I cherish and yet another one closer to them being grown.
Maybe I am wrong, but I feel like all moms feel like this on Christmas day – all the fun, activities, adventures, shopping for the perfect gifts, wrapping, anticipation, threatening (maybe that’s just me?) – all of it comes to a halt on Christmas day. The busyness of the season finally catches up with calm of the delivery. And while we are so thankful that we pulled it off yet another year, we realize that it is another year that has gone by.
And that makes me sad. Did I do enough? Was it good enough? Did we make enough memories? Did I soak in enough?
Enough.
Yes. That is what Christmas is actually all about. I killed it this year – and every year before. It’s time to stop being sad about Christmas being over and start being thankful that I could provide enough – gifts, time, energy and love. Because whatever that looked like to you and your family – the very first Christmas brought the gift of Jesus to prove that, even if my babies are getting older, every single part of this season has been more than enough.
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her daughters and writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.
