FILE — Melissa and Ben Budde, shown in 2018, organized the Night of Hope: A Concert Against Heroin. Ben Budde’s own battle with addiction inspired him to bring hope to others in the community fighting drug problems.
File photo | The Lima News
LIMA — “I don’t think anyone really wakes up one day and says, ‘Hey I want to try heroin,’” said Ben Budde, the driving force and originator of “Night of Hope: A Concert Against Heroin.”
Addicts work their way up to it.
“I grew up in a religious family and lost my way. I played music for a while — blues, heavy metal and folk — and the lifestyle led to temptation with drinking. Then it snowballed,” said Budde. “I started partying when I was about 15 or 16, using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes. Around 18 or 19 it was cocaine. And, yes, I did do heroin at the end and morphine quite a bit,” Budde said.
He explained his transition to heroin as having a connection to alcohol and social pressure.
“I don’t think I’d have done half the drugs that I did if I wasn’t drunk,” Budde said. “You’re at a party and you’re hanging out with people and it’s like ‘Hey man, I can’t get you any of this, but I have some of this,’ or ‘Hey, we’re doing some of this, have you ever tried this?’ Then you start using it and start to like it … It makes you feel really good.”
Another reason he turned to drugs and alcohol was his desire to avoid confronting significant loss and grief he could not express.
“This world’s hard and it’s tough. A lot of times you want to escape the things you face,” he said. “My mom was very passionate about the Lord. She passed away when I was about 20 from cancer.”
In his anger, Budde blamed God.
“I became a skeptic and didn’t care anymore,” he said.
Grief from the loss of a parent, without the right support, can feel like falling and falling repeatedly into despair, hopelessness and loneliness. Ceasing to care about the things that used to matter may be a warning sign of depression.
“I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was running from that pain. I didn’t know how to communicate my hurt so I self-medicated,” he explained.
Trying to handle all that alone can lead to increased stress, and consequently, heavier reliance on substances to provide a reprieve.
“That’s when I began partying really hard,” Budde said. “The last two or three months of my addiction, I didn’t really sleep. I just blacked out. I’d wake up in odd places.”
That’s when he knew he needed help.
“That loss and that grief disappeared when I gave myself over to Jesus Christ. I had fulfillment. The transformation that happened was in the blink of an eye. I was delivered and did not want to do it anymore. I did not need to go to recovery, but I did help others with recovery after.”
The focus on heroin addicts for the program he started, Budde said, was that was where he had been at the time, just over six years ago.
“Also, a lot of people were talking about heroin addiction. (Mercer County) Sheriff (Jeff) Grey was talking about how people were OD’ing on heroin and for those people there was just a feeling of no hope. Families didn’t have hope because they didn’t feel people could get free of this thing. I believe you do,” Budde said, and that’s the reason he runs the program.
“God healed me … I’ve been sober for 12 years. I felt it led me to do something, to spread a message of hope.”
“Night of Hope: A Concert Against Heroin” starts at 6:30 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 28 at Grace Fellowship Church, 1606 W. Elm St., Lima. There will be a modern gospel music concert performed by Wapakoneta band “Worship Anyway.” For details, visit gfclima.com.
The guest speakers selected for the event include Lima Mayor Sharetta Smith, Pastor Damian Tibbs, poet Ashley Cook, Richard Buchanan as well as Benjamin & Missy Budde. The host and Master of Ceremonies will be Pastor Nathan Branim of Grace Fellowship Church.
Not only can drug addiction damage the body, it may also impact relationships with spouses, parents and siblings. Use of illegal substances also can lead to a criminal record, possibly impairing a career or being denied a job.
The speakers’ goals range from deterrence and education to sharing personal stories about their road to addiction and, finally, recovery.
“It’s empowering. These stories change people’s lives,” Budde said.
Reach Shannon Bohle at 567-242-0399, by email at [email protected] or on Twitter @Bohle_LimaNews.
