David Trinko: Feeling close when it matters most

Just being near her reminds me that everything is going to be all right.

When I’m away from her, all I want is to be is near her. When I’m near her, I don’t want it to end. Even after all these years, I still feel that way about my lovely wife.

We marked yet another wedding anniversary on Friday. It was a first for us, though, as it was the first time we couldn’t see each other in person, exchange a kiss or enjoy a long embrace, as she spent most of the week out in Denver for a conference for work.

As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, not that I thought I could be more fond of her.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about this strangely magnetic trait of true love.

That’s in part because our oldest daughter and her long-time boyfriend recently broke up. I wasn’t all that sad to see it end, really.

He was a nice enough young man, and I never saw him say or do anything that made me worry about him. It just always rubbed me the wrong way that he could get by just seeing her for a couple hours a week, usually watching TV together on the couch.

I remembered back to when I was dating my now-wife. I couldn’t imagine spending time away from her. My life changed the instant I knew I loved her, and I dedicated my free time to being near her and trying to make her happy.

Things I didn’t like to do, such as travelling or shopping, suddenly became my favorites, simply because I knew we’d get to spend time together. I craved those shared moments. Even trips out with my friends paled in comparison to an ordinary day with her, since every day became extraordinary.

Like any good father, I want my daughters to have what their mother and I have. I want them to find a man completely devoted to the proposition that his life became meaningless without her.

In the same way, I want them to feel as hopelessly devoted to their guys. I want them to make a million little sacrifices to make that domestic tranquility work, just like I know their mom does for me. The first and most important of those is just being present for each other.

Our lives haven’t been perfect. We’ve been through some harrowing health scares with our children and some stressful times with our jobs. Our paths have taken some unexpected turns, such as when we felt the call of God to become foster parents and eventually adopt our youngest daughter.

Yet every moment has been a joy, knowing that I got to spend it close to the person I love the most.