An old coach’s nightmare on the future of hoops

Bob Seggerson - Guest Columnist

Are these changes coming in the game of basketball?

A four-point line. No kidding. It’s taken awhile, but players at every level have adapted to the three-point shot and shooting percentages continue to rise. The four-point line would begin about forty feet from the basket and, in time, players will adjust to that distance as well.

Some player (probably a high schooler playing against weak competition) does a backward flip and then a 360-degree somersault in the air before dunking the ball during a game. Don’t worry about steps, they may not call it in the future. We’re almost there now. You’ve seen the James Harden jump stop, step-back, step-back move and those exotic European step-through layups haven’t you?

A wide-angle photo of an NCAA national championship game reveals that every spectator in the arena is looking at their iPhone and not the game.

An NBA lineup with every starter over 7-foot tall. It’s not out of the realm of possibilities. Remember when William “Refrigerator” Perry became the talk of the NFL in 1985 because the Chicago Bear defensive tackle weighed over 300 pounds? Today, there are over 400 active players in the NFL that weigh over 300 lbs.

A basketball game where every shot taken is a three-point attempt

Waiting too long for the shot clock in high school basketball. It’s coming, count on it. When is anybody’s guess but when they finally get around to it, make it a 30 second clock and an offensive rebound automatically resets the clock to 15 seconds

An 8th grader petitioning the NBA to be eligible for the draft

A family sues a high school basketball coach for failing to obtain an athletic scholarship for their kid because he wasn’t given enough playing time

AAU begins scheduling basketball tournaments during the high school season which begins the evolution towards club teams representing cities and counties instead of high schools

Following the University of Michigan Xavier Simpson’s lead, the hook shot makes its reappearance in the game of basketball. Take it from an old hook shot artist, this is a good thing

A national basketball recruiting scouting service begins issuing a ranking for players in kindergarten and a 5th grader calls a press conference to announce the junior high school he will be attending

A basketball league in Columbus is created for one-year-olds. It’s called crib basketball and the league quickly grows to ten teams. In its first season, several fans are escorted from the gym for obnoxious behavior toward coaches and referees

Duke University and the University of Kentucky have ceremonies honoring former student-athletes for their contributions to the reputation of their schools which are, by the way, academic institutions. The players are “one and done” athletes who led their schools to NCAA national championships but spent more time in the locker-room than they did in the classroom.

The NCAA passes legislation that allows colleges to pay athletes on scholarship. The move does not end select colleges from making illegal, under the table payments to the nation’s top recruits. Within five years, many less prestigious collegiate athletic departments go bankrupt and are forced to shut down many of their athletic programs.

A basketball game with no assists

NBA superstars begin giving each other Hallmark friendship cards after playing against each other in games. They then sit down for a tea party where they try to figure out how they can all play together on the same team and never compete against each other again. Michael Jordon, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson collectively throw up

Announcers at High School basketball games decide to add even more introductions to the start of games. Besides every team member, head coach, assistant coach, student assistants, cheerleader, cheerleader advisor and official, every fan in the gym is introduced and asked to stand and be acknowledged. The pre-game introductions take longer than the actual game

The art of flopping becomes a popular basketball clinic lecture taught by former Duke University star, Grayson Allen

A college basketball powerhouse breaks out new uniforms and abandons the long, baggy pants that Michigan’s dream team popularized in 1991. They go old school and bring back the short “tighty whitey” pants look of long ago, and the new style sweeps the country. Women, everywhere, swoon

A budding superstar’s high school basketball coach, his AAU coach and his personal workout trainer get into a physical confrontation over who is most responsible for the development of the young athlete into a top recruit

An NBA team hires a robot for its head coaching position. The robot has unlimited powers to analyze instantly updated, statistical information to make the most informed, game-based decisions. The robot can even calculate the exact moment to stand and harass an official. The robot is fired following a losing season but lands a job as a color analyst on ESPN’s coverage of NBA basketball

The same teams (Duke, Kansas, North Carolina and Kentucky) make up the NCAA basketball tournament final four for 10 consecutive years

The OHSAA bends to pressure and establishes separate basketball tournaments for public and private schools. Attendance figures for state tournament games dramatically plummet. Within three years the state tournament is moved from OSU’s Schottenstein Arena to Capital University’s gymnasium. Those who clamored for two tournaments now demand that public schools who recruit athletes also be separated, essentially creating three different state basketball tournaments. Within three years the state tournament is moved to one of the Columbus area high school gyms

After numerous public appeals and an extensive search, a high school is forced to cancel their previously successful basketball program because they received no applications for its head coaching position.

I have faith that most of these things won’t happen. Wisdom and perspective will prevail

Bob Seggerson

Guest Columnist

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