Letter” Team D: Sound familiar?


I’ve never seen such sore losers. Two years after the game ended, Team D is still whining, complaining, and threatening to hold their breath until they turn blue. “The grass was too short,” they complain. “The goal posts were the wrong color, and the referee had bad breath.”

Even after the dean of the state dental college reported that he found no evidence of referee having bad breath, the losers still insist on viewing the referee’s dental x-rays and subpoenaing testimony from his orthodontist, his refuse hauler, and the supermarket clerk who checks out his groceries.

Also it would appear that all members of the team, the coaching staff, and everyone in the team’s grandstand flunked history and didn’t do very well in mathematics or sociology either. And they want to tear down the fences around the grandstand so that anyone who wants can come in and enjoy all the free beer and hotdogs they can consume.

During the pregame activities, Team D’s fans stand and applaud when it is announced the one of their cheerleaders just had an abortion. Except for her mother who wonders why she didn’t do the same thing 16 years earlier.

Worthy of note is that among the prominent members of the team D’s conference are Cuba, Venezuela, and Iran, but Team D doesn’t want to compete against them or even speak negatively about them, preferring instead to gather around the field and sing “Kum-by-yah.”

Team D’s mascot is a jackass, and its colors are pink — for Commie loving, yellow —for gutless, and green — for nothing.

Sound like anyone you’ve heard of?

Orwell Franck, Lima

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