Ken Pollitz: Getting bowled over for the holidays


By Ken Pollitz - Guest Column



Occasionally I’ll have cereal or salad in one and, every so often, some tasty soup or a dish of salted-caramel ice cream covered with dark chocolate syrup, sprinkled with pecans, and finished off with a shot of whipped cream. Typically ceramic in substance, given our youthful grandkids, we’ve added a number made of durable plastic. Best for mixing, some are stainless steel, but we also have a smattering of glass ones, too. Safely out of reach, one made of crystal adorns a shelf in our china cabinet.

We’re careful to note which ones are safe for either the dishwasher and microwave. We have a few odd ones made of teak wood, the remains of a set of wedding gifts from four decades ago. Those made of timber have to be washed by hand and so mostly collect dust in the cupboard.

This time of year, however, any mention of a “bowl” is a different matter entirely. The itinerary was recently released thereby satisfying any season-ending gridiron remorse. “We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you the 2019-20 college bowl schedule!”

This year’s “tour” will be traversing the country, from Honolulu to Nassau in the Bahamas, from San Diego to Yankee Stadium in New York City, and from the Alamo in San Antonio to Detroit and the Motor City. Florida wins the “bowling for bowls” competition by a score of 8-7, barely edging out the great state of Texas.

While all of us know the value of these concave hemispheric vessels when it comes to certain dining options, they serve just about anything in the pigskin-shaped bowls. For your eating pleasure, let’s begin with the basic Cheez-It Bowl easily washed down with either a Tropical Smoothie (Frisco) or the high-energy Cheribundi (Boca Raton) Bowl. For those who can’t wait for the afternoon kickoff, there’s always Tony the Tiger (Sun) Bowl and Frosted Flakes for breakfast. Up for a carb-fest, then grab the sour cream and dig into the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. Is anyone craving those sweets? Check your blood levels first, but the (Allstate) Sugar Bowl might be the answer.

Now you may be more into natural foods and an outdoorsy type, so enjoy the Peach, Citrus or Orange Bowls as you’re warmed by the Sun Bowl, taking in the aromatic pleasantries of the Rose or Camellia (State Flower of Alabama) Bowls. Remember, however, to always keep an eye out for any (TaxSlayer) Gator Bowl crawling around.

Of course, if you prefer eating out, maybe you want to grab a sandwich at that Chick-fil-A (Peach) Bowl or a Bloomin’ Onion at the Outback Bowl. And for any youthful late-night partiers, consider striding over to Walk-On’s (Bistreaux and Sports Bar) Independence Bowl in Baton Rouge.

Don’t fret over how to get there. We’ve got you covered with the Mitsubishi Motors (Las Vegas) Bowl, fueled by the Valero (Alamo) Bowl and riding, of course, on the Goodyear (Cotton) Bowl. If you need to do any car maintenance during halftime, visit the Quick Lane Bowl or, for the hands-on, there’s the AutoZone (Liberty) Bowl.

Now is not the time to worry about finances, but if you’re thinking about upgrading to that 98” TV you’ve always dreamed of, help has arrived with the Lending Tree Bowl, the San Diego County Credit Union (Holiday) Bowl, or the Capital One Bowl. If you fear the need to refinance the house to afford one, then dial into either the FBC Mortgage Cure, Franklin American Mortgage (Music City), SoFi (Hawaii), or NOVA Home Loans (Arizona) Bowls.

Need insurance? No problem! Find the remote and select the Allstate Bowl. Remember, any IRS consequences can be easily resolved with the TaxSlayer Bowl.

If you’re not sure how to stay busy between games, enjoy some fun with the PlayStation (Fiesta) or the Redbox Bowls. Should you need tickets for future entertainment, you’re in luck with the TicketSmarter (Birmingham) Bowl.

Certainly, now is hopefully not the time for the Bad Boy Mowers (Gasparilla) Bowl and let’s all pray you have no need of help from the SERVPRO First Responder Bowl.

Beware, college football devotee, of neglecting any significant other, or you may be asked to leave. In that case, the R+L Carriers (New Orleans) Bowl can help you relocate, and maybe even to Louisiana. The Camping World Bowl could also come in handy for your getaway or you can enjoy a reclusive rental property somewhere with the aid of the Vrbo Citrus Bowl.

We all need to dress comfortably, so I suggest the Cotton Bowl. Remember to accessorize by a visit to either the New Era Pinstripe, Academy Sports & Outdoors, or Belk Bowls.

Don’t fail to recall the big picture and duly recognize those who have made it possible with the Military Bowl and the Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl.

This isn’t all fun and games, however, and work still needs to be done to end cancer at the (FBC Mortgage) Cure Bowl and the affirm historically black colleges and universities with the Celebration Bowl.

I’ve never been to Albuquerque, but who wouldn’t enjoy the New Mexico Bowl? On the other hand, I grew up in Elk Grove Village next to O’Hare Airport and often return home given the Makers Wanted (Bahamas) Bowl.

Finally, for those living in this neck of the woods, what matters for most is hopefully enjoying a satisfying bowl of Buckeyes and a college football playoff national championship on Monday, Jan. 13, 2020.

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By Ken Pollitz

Guest Column

Ken Pollitz moved to Ottawa in 1991 as mission-developer/pastor of New Creation Lutheran Church. His biweekly column provides insights and viewpoints from Putnam County. Contact him at pastorken@midohio.twcbc.com

Ken Pollitz moved to Ottawa in 1991 as mission-developer/pastor of New Creation Lutheran Church. His biweekly column provides insights and viewpoints from Putnam County. Contact him at pastorken@midohio.twcbc.com

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