Thursday marks the unofficial start of the Christmas shopping season.
Thank goodness the retailers told us when we should start spending our money on each other.
Of course, so many of them started putting their decorations out right after Halloween. That means we jump right from Halloween to Christmas in our culture, the same way that we jump right from summer weather to winter weather, with about three days of autumn around here.
Lest you think I have no holiday spirit, I’d like to introduce you to a new holiday hero, Clyde Prime, the Amazon guy. He’s the mythical guy who takes your order, finds your stuff and boxes it up. You’ve heard the song, sung to the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” right?
You know Dasher and Dancer
and Prancer and Vixen.
Frosty and Buddy
and even elf Steven.
But do you recall
the most epic seller of all?
Clyde Prime, the Amazon guy,
had a very cool website.
And if you buy from it
you would say it’s often right.
All of the other shoppers
used to drive and go to stores.
They never shopped online,
sleeping with lots of snores.
Then one big Thanksgiving Day
all the stores stayed open.
‘People with your cash so green,
why don’t you check out our scene.’
Then all the shoppers realized
it’s better than spending wisely:
“Clyde Prime, the Amazon guy,
we’ll stay home with family!”