Many Americans seem to share my attitude: If you want something done right, do it yourself.
Most of us pump our own gas. We mow our own lawns. We sweep our own floors.
That’s carried over to our dining habits. Even when you’re asking someone else to do it for you, you’re telling them exactly how to do it.
You can walk into most area McDonald’s restaurants and punch the buttons yourself to order your food exactly the way you want it. You can load up the Pizza Hut app and tell it to put a particular topping on half a pizza. You can even customize your online order of a Beefy Fritos Burrito at Taco Bell (although I can’t see why anyone would mess with that kind of perfection) and pick it up.
I have to say, I’m absolutely thrilled. I’m what you might call a passive-aggressive diner. When I get food, I won’t complain to the server if my order’s mangled. I’ll shrug my shoulders and try to enjoy the meal delivered to my plate. Then, when it’s time to tip, that’s where I’ll take it out on them.
All this technology makes it easier to get it your way, right away, without having to explain to anyone what you really like.
I know there are plenty of reasons to worry about our inability to communicate face to face anymore. I agree with that in an office or educational environment. I don’t believe that in a food environment, where we use charged terms like “server” to remind the customer he clearly has a more important spot on the food chain.
It seems the less we communicate when it comes to food, the more likely it is to come out right.
We’ve seen the un-necessity of speaking come to its logical conclusion lately. The Little Caesars in our neighborhood added a “Pizza Portal” a while back.
This ingenious device resembles a snack machine at work, if each row only had one selection. When you put in the proper code, sent to you when you order, a door opens, and you can retrieve your pizza. It’s like an ATM that shoots out dough with toppings instead of moolah.
Now we can order and pay for the pizza from the convenience of a smartphone. All I need to pick it up is the proper code sent to a phone.
Since we’ve started using this thing, I haven’t noticed a single mistake in an order, leading me to believe the people taking the orders may be just as responsible as the kitchen for all the mistakes I’ve seen over the years.
They’re truly perfecting the dining experience. Once that’s done, we can focus on the other things in life, like life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.