Ugh. Is it over yet? COVID. The election. 2020. All of it. I am so over it.
Yes, I am so thankful for another God-given day — even with all the craziness around right now. Seriously, I try to put on my gratitude pants every day and thank God for all the wonderful things that are happening. But, man, every once in a while, everything about this year overwhelms me and I need a quick five minutes to vent.
Even though I fear the outcome could cause more hate, I am hoping that once this election finishes, people will stop being such entitled jerks. Seriously, I can barely even stand looking at social media. Grown people bickering behind a computer screen. My news feed full of “news” shared by opinionated people without fact checking anything. Can we just go back to funny memes and sharing pictures of our kids?
And COVID. Dang you, COVID. Remember when we were going to contain this back in March? Just stay in a few weeks, and all will be fine. It has been months now. While we have opened up some, the thought of the cases rising and the talks of more shutdowns literally just puts a pit in my stomach.
Look, I know it is real — I have seen it first-hand. But, I am telling you, I am not cut out for going back to the way it was in March and April. Put up barriers at work and school and keep requiring a mask all day but please keep my kids in school. I literally cannot handle being stuck in this house for weeks trying to maintain my sanity while working full time, teaching two students and attempting to keep this house livable — again.
I just need it to go away!
And the unknown of it all. Still, the unknown of it all. I mean, clearly I know that it can easily put a healthy person on a vent in a hospital. But, I also know that some people have no symptoms at all. How can that be?
For all I know, my entire family had it and we don’t even know. Or, maybe we have just been lucky and have dodged it. But even if we did have it, no one really knows if that means anything. Would that mean we have the antibodies? How long do they last? Can we get it again? Can we still carry it around and pass it to others?
I miss my mom, guys. In the same breath that I say to keep my kids in school, I also hate that I cannot risk being around her while receiving email after email of positive cases that are in the school. I feel like we are missing out on so many memories, hugs and precious time together.
Sometimes, I actually feel like there are two different fights going on inside my head. On one hand, I am up for the risk. We are all relatively healthy — let’s go do all the things — with a mask, of course. And in the next breath, I am having heart palpitations fearing that we are not being careful enough, that I am allowing too much freedom and not being smart during a pandemic.
Heck, I am pretty much to the point that I hope it is a conspiracy theory and all goes away in a couple of weeks. Surely, my brother in law had some other thing going on. This is all politically driven, and we will all finally get our life back soon.
Just be gone!
Enough is enough already, 2020. It has been brutal at times. And the thought of it getting worse — flu season on top of COVID, closing schools, working remotely, locking ourselves inside during the already dreary winter months, not spending the holidays with family. Ugh. It all sounds so dang depressing.
I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I want our lives back. And I am not saying open it all up and let’s go roaming wild and free with COVID still among us. I get the protections in place. I adhere to the mask wearing and social distancing.
I am simply just begging for it to be gone. Right now, I am yearning for a normal winter where we cover our faces because of the cold and stay home because the streets are too snowy — not because there is a crazy virus among us.
This is our reality right now, and I know it. But, sometimes, like right now, I just need to let it all out. Tomorrow, I will again thank God for another day alive, and I will make the best of it.
But, in the back of my head, I am still over all of it.
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her husband, Paul, and their daughters, her writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.