“I’m the future of mankind!” says rogue agent Brixton Lore (Idris Elba), calling himself “Black Superman.” He’s been cyber-genetically enhanced by Eteon, an underground military-tech group. Meanwhile, Eteon’s deadly virus, created to annihilate the planet’s human population, has been stolen by MI6 agent Hattie Shaw (Vanessa Kirby). She has injected it into her own body, so in 72 hours she will begin to spread the deadly plague. That’s the setup for this action/adventure, the ninth “Fast & Furious” flick.
Will US lawman, Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), and Brit free agent, Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) — Hattie’s outcast brother — save the world? Can Hobbs and Shaw work together despite their mutual dislike? Are you a “Fast & Furious” fan? If you are, you’ll want the answers to these questions. If not, you can miss “Hobbs & Shaw,” as I wish I had.
Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham are frenemies, Hobbs and Shaw — two alpha-males, saving humankind from certain death. But Hobbs hates Shaw’s “prepubescent, nasally Harry Potter voice.” Shaw calls Hobbs “She-Hulk,” because of his fleshy, unattractive face. Vanessa Kirby is Hattie Shaw, Deckard’s virus-carrying sister. She’s an action hero, too, tough enough to take care of herself and beat up the bad guys. “The evolution of man is coming,” says Idris Elba as villainous Black Superman, “whether you like it or not.” “Does it hurt, boys?” he says to Hobbs and Shaw. “It must be hard, being so — human.”
Others in the cast include Eliza Gonzalez as Russian Madame M and Eddie Marsan as Professor Andreiko, mad scientist who created the deadly virus. Cliff Curtis is Hobbs’ brother Jonah, who lives, with extended family, in Samoa where the film’s outrageous action finale takes place. Lori Pelenise Tuisano is Sefina, Hobbs’ loving mother, who choreographs a Samoan family reunion. Watch for cameos by Helen Mirren as Queenie, Shaw’s mother, and Ryan Reynolds, who brings some lame humor to the film’s end credits.
“Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw” is a spinoff, featuring two characters from the F&F franchise. Directed by David Leitch, from a screenplay by Chris Morgan and Drew Pearce, “Hobbs & Shaw” is part odd-couple comedy, part action/adventure and fantasy/supervillain. Its estimated $200 million budget fills the screen with hyper-violence, its soundtrack with loud, annoying music, and its script with R-rated language from everyone except Hobbs’ mother and his 9-year old daughter.
Rated PG-13 for prolonged sequences of action violence, suggestive material and strong language, “Hobbs & Shaw” runs (a long) 135 minutes.
“Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw,”
Is it the worst I ever saw?
No, but close. Just “Smash! Boom! Whack!”
Please give me my two hours back.