In case you didn’t know, the tooth fairy was on vacation this week. Yep, because when the first thing you hear when your kid wakes up is, “I can’t wait to see what the tooth fairy left me,” and the tooth is still sitting there on the dresser, you improvise. Vacation it is.
Sometimes, I am awful at being a mom.
Like how I had these big plans of filling eggs with Reagan for her preschool Easter party this week. That is, until I remembered at 9:30 p.m. the night before they were due in to school. Then, I had to make a trip to Walmart, and, in full parent shame, scour the aisles for prepackaged eggs already filled with candy.
Another mom fail.
Similar to when I totally forgot that I bribed Reagan with taking her stuffed animal into her class at church so she wouldn’t “miss me.” Then seeing her tear-streamed eyes as I picked her up from class because that stuffed bunny spent the last hour in my purse. Or when I promised Maylie that on the day that “Q” and “U” got married at school that I would put just a tiny bit of make-up on her and simply forgot.
Mom of the year, right here.
With an entire week to read it, the school library book was turned back in unread. After several pleas to just go to sleep, the mom voice came out. While tripping over shoes that were not in their place and seeing yesterday’s clothes all over the floor and not in the laundry basket again, I may have lost it just a bit.
Mac ‘n cheese again today — oh, you would rather have butter bread or pasta? You can live on carbs tonight, no worries. One more show? Sure, I have to get these dishes done anyway. Sniff. Sniff. Yes, you can just take a bath tomorrow.
I am totally not crushing the mom game.
Reagan colored on her face again — this time with marker. She managed to pour glitter glue all over my pots and pans while successfully using the only lipstick in the house as eyes liner — all in a three-minute period that I was preoccupied. And I won’t even begin to tell you the guilt that I felt when she came down with the flu a few weeks ago, and I had no option to leave work. Instead, daddy had to get off early to go get her.
Great job, Mama. Great job.
Oh, and I almost forgot about the day that time-out was declared by the 3-year-old as a no-go and it took 12 times – and 12 love taps – before she actually sat in the time-out chair. Ya’ll, TWELVE. I am not sure who was crying more by the end of it, her or I. But, during the entire debacle I just kept silently cursing Dr. James Dobson while wondering why I ever took advice from his book, “The New Strong-Willed Child.”
Even reading and modeling after award-winning books, this mama is inadequate.
And so many times, I feel as such. I am flawed, weak, surely falling short as a mother. But then, those little darlings, whom I think I am failing, remind me of the gift of true love, learning, and forgiveness.
You see, at the sight of her tooth still sitting on her dresser that morning, Miss Maylie proclaimed that many other children must have lost a tooth that night and the tooth fairy couldn’t get to all of them. Not only that, but she quickly forgave me for forgetting to do make-up for the big wedding. And Reagan realized that she too could have remembered her stuffed animal and, shockingly, sat the entire time of her next timeout.
No matter how our last encounter ended — whether it was my mishap as a mother or the girls’ learning experience as kids, these smiling girls are always there. Showering me with hugs and kisses and the grace of God Himself, they cannot wait to spend time with me, their meager mother.
And every night while we pray, we thank the Good Lord for sending His son to die on the cross to take away our sins, giving us the opportunity to say that we are sorry when we do wrong. Sometimes, it is them telling me they can be better. However, many times it is me promising that I will as well.
I am an imperfect mama in an imperfect world raising imperfect babies. But, because of the forgiveness and never failing love of a perfect Savior, I get the chance over and over again to start fresh.
And that, my friends, the victory of Jesus Christ, trumps any foreseen failure that I have ever felt.
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her husband, Paul, and their daughters, her writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.