Listen. Imagine. Fail. Exhale.
Those four words formed the outline of a most memorable commencement speech at our youngest, Joel’s, 2012 graduation ceremonies at the University of Toledo. For me, the message far outlasted the evening’s dispensing of diplomas and the mortarboard tassel tossing.
The leading letter of the acronym of former Ohio Lt. Gov. Lee Fisher was that simple word, “listen.” Summarily, he urged the attentive audience to talk less and listen more. Similar insightful words are found in the ancient writing of Job, where he instructs his three antagonists, “If you would only keep silent, that would be your wisdom!”
And so I sat and listened to and learned from Kathryn in Room 113. At the age of 95, she was a bit hard of hearing, which was fine as I wanted to do most of the listening. Her modestly decorated corner room at the end of the hallway steered clear of most of the noise and goings-on at the Meadows of Ottawa. Comfortably seated in her power-recliner positioned near the window, she graciously spun some of the humble story of her life for this inquisitive clerical visitor.
With nearly a century of life history, not every recollection came easily, though tales began to weave themselves together into a delightful tapestry.
Fleeing the unrest and insecurity of Germany at the time, Barbara, at the youthful age of 13, boarded a ship headed for the shores of the “land of the free and home of the brave.” She’d soon live and learn both.
Personally, I would hesitate letting one of our kids go to the local swimming pool unaccompanied, let alone crossing the Atlantic Ocean. Unable to afford the ticket, she paid her way working the galley and cleaning rooms. Three years later, she’d make the return journey to retrieve her brother, Anthony. The year was 1912. Once more she labored to pay her fare.
Aboard the RMS Carpathia, the vessel comfortably steamed her way east across the ocean. It was smooth sailing until a radio distress call arrived shortly after midnight, the 15th of April. Urgently, the ship’s captain responded, changing course.
While en route, the ocean liner was converted to a first-responder search and rescue emergency room. The destination, at the time some 58 miles away, was the frigid waters which had hours earlier swallowed up the RMS Titanic. With most passengers, including Barbara, remanded to their rooms, the ship’s crew made swift work of the rescue of every Titanic survivor and headed back to New York.
Back in the states, Barbara would meet up with and marry a violin-playing young man named Nicholas. Seven children, two boys and five girls, would fill the Manoylovich home. In the middle of them all would be Kathryn, from Room 113. Now the lone survivor of her siblings, most of Kate’s years have been spent in Ohio towns such as Luckey, Pemberville, Fremont, and most recently, Ottawa.
Kate’s father would put down the instrument and take up a job at a local lime plant while farming on the side. She grew up well-acquainted with the farmer’s life filled with horses, pigs and milking cows. Living in a one-floor house, there was only one bedroom with four beds for the seven children.
German was the language spoken in her Catholic home. English was literally a foreign language, forcing her to have to repeat first grade as a result. A stubborn and staunch father, unwilling to see any doctor, died from a ruptured appendix when Kathryn was only 7. His untimely death forced a desperate state of affairs for a young widowed mother and seven children. Keeping the family intact was of the highest order.
As God would have it, my listening to this unique story happened only because someone crossed paths with Kathryn Karr and learned she was from a Lutheran church in Fremont. Informed of this, I gladly offered to pay her a visit. The passing of her father, the unwillingness of the priest to officiate at the funeral and the agreement of the local Lutheran pastor to offer his services led to the change of churches.
Barbara, Kate described, went to work at the same lime plant of her late husband to help make ends meet. Each able-bodied child did his or her part. None went to college, and the brothers went off to the Navy. Kathryn married a truck-driving man the same day as her birthday in 1922, and she, while raising four children, worked as a waitress, housekeeper and at a couple different factories in northwest Ohio.
Sadly, with a man too often gone on the road, her marriage didn’t last. The love of her children remained, though two have since died. She has a full quiver of more than 30 grandchildren and great-grandchildren, as well. Thankfully, connections remain with her home church with weekly bulletins and monthly newsletters reaching her mailbox.
Life, for Kate, was far from easy. Still, directly across from her recliner in room 113 is a wall-hanging inscribed with the words, “Family is Everything.” Indeed. I’d also listen and learn that yes, she’s watched “Titanic” more than once in memory of her mother.
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