209 Timber Creek Ct.
Columbus Grove, Ohio 45830
1, long version:
Several letters have appeared recently in the Lima News regarding the same sex marriage debate now confronting the U.S. Supreme Court. The letters range from the extremes of condemning to hell anyone who believes in same sex marriage ("Same sex marriage a sin against God", 3/29/13) to the totally anarchistic view of the role of the state in regard to marriage ("Time to divorce marriage from the state", 3/31/13). Marriage is not just "any contract." At its best, marriage is the fountain from which comes future members of society, conceived, loved and nourished into independence by their parents, taught, whatever, their career, to be other centered, proponents of peace and justice and the common good of all their fellow human beings, and the entire planet. In this sense, one might say, as marriage goes, so goes our world.
That being said, the writer who would condemn to hell all those who believe in same sex marriage goes way too far. It is highly unlikely that the biblical authors understood same sex attraction as we understand it today - something that is given, not chosen, part of whom that human person is. The bible also says "...women should be silent in Church and keep their heads covered...slaves should be obedient to their masters." In the words of the writer, "how can anyone ignore this"?
However the Supreme Court decides in the two cases now before it, same sex marriage, in some shape or form, is going to be with us. For those who have difficulty with that, perhaps it might help to stress the notion of relationship rather than biology. What makes any marriage mutually nourishing and enriching both for the couple involved and the little part of the world that they in habit, is the quality of their relationship, not their biology. Both heterosexual and same sex marriages can be cruel and destructive, not because of the biology but because of the lack of a relationship that is other centered and self giving.