Daughter helps to bring suicide prevention into the light

LIMA - For years, when people asked Dee Grahm how her mother died, she lied and said it was a car accident.

A year ago, she spoke publicly about her mother's death for the first time, a huge step in decades of struggle over her mother and brother completing suicide. This year, she's again taking the lead in the region's second annual Out of the Darkness Community Walk, which begins at 8 a.m. Sept. 13 at Faurot Park.

"For probably 20 years, I would never say it. And now, I'm able to talk about it. It's like their deaths are not in vain. ... I was really scared and now I've spoken at a couple of churches and it's getting easier," Grahm said. "If a positive can come out of a negative, it would be to educate others."

The walk, part of a national campaign from the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, brings the issue literally out of the darkness and into the light, said Grahm, a case manager and social worker for Lutheran Social Services who works with clients who struggle with both mental illness and drug addiction. Grahm also facilitates a survivors of suicide support group, at 7 p.m., the second Wednesday of every month, at Trinity United Methodist Church.

In the United States, a person dies by suicide every 16 minutes, claiming more than 31,000 lives a year, according to the foundation. Nearly 1 million people attempt suicide every year. A major event, such as a divorce, job loss or death of a loved one is many times the catalyst for a suicide attempt, but it's rarely the reason, Grahm said.

Untreated depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and family history of mental illness are all big factors and reasons why it's better to talk about it and get help, because mental illness is treatable, Grahm said.

Grahm, 49, was 14 when she lost her mother and two years older when she lost her brother. The family didn't talk about it and Grahm ended up coping with drugs and alcohol. Today, she's a mom who took 15 years to earn a bachelor's degree and a woman of strong faith who believes truly that "God works in mysterious ways."

"I don't know," said Grahm, who moved from Lima to Texas for six years but 10 years ago felt the pull to come home. "I think this may be a calling. I have kind of a John Lennon outlook on life. You have to always encourage, always support, always give hope, because if someone feels hopeless, then it becomes hopeless."

For information about the Out of the Darkness walk, to form a walking team, or donate, contact the We Care Regional Crisis Center at 419-224-4617. The crisis center is available to anyone 24 hours a day by calling 800-567-HOPE (4673) or visiting at 718 W. Market St., east of St. Rita's Medical Center emergency department.