The perfect catalog for tough times

In these tough economic times, a person has to be careful spending money. There's less and less of it, so we have to be more certain than ever we are good stewards of those few Benjamins still in our pockets.

President Bush told me that. My representatives in Congress told me that. And even my Better Business Bureau chief, Neil Winget, impressed upon me that in these tough times, we need to be ever vigilant of where our money is going.

So you can imagine my joy when a new magazine arrived last week at my house. Where it came from, I can only imagine. I would say heaven, but the return address read Pennsylvania, and I don't think too many would confuse those two locales.

Anyway, this magazine was packed full of all the things in this life that I need. And nothing cost more than $19.98. That's just the kind of stewardship we need in these economic times.

In fact, it's all of those television infomercials rolled into a 103-page mini-magazine. All of the televised items that I knew I needed but wasn't quick enough to send for, located in this book.

Long have I believed that my life would be different if I could wrap my hands around the 8-in-1 screwdriver with a flashlight. It handles any job, and whenever I've seen it advertised on television, I'm never sitting anywhere near a piece of paper to write down the phone number needed to order. But I always think that would be a wonderful thing to have around the house. I mean, it's pretty constant that one of those eight different tools would be needed.

And there it was, in my book. Of course, it's at the top of the price range, $18.95, because it's so versatile. I smiled to myself when I saw the price - I know the good stuff when I see it.

There's also magnets just for the knees that I'm considering ordering. Talk about custom-made. Santa, if you're listening, here's the top item on my list.

But the booklet is not just for me. My sisters would love the Sister Crystal Plate, with the etched words about being friends forever. I'm sure they'd both display the seven-inch plate proudly, and in fact, a small crystal stand is even included in the $10.85 price tag.

The "nicer dicer" would please my husband as its stainless steel blades will help julienne and chop fruits and veggies with little effort. Imagine the meals we could concoct with that little jewel.

Not forgetting my furry friends, I could order a petzoom cleaning brush, or a pet shelf for looking out the windows, or a three-piece grooming kit.

To cut down on home bills, I could begin trimming my husband's hair with the hair cutting umbrella. I could cut in half those home upgrade bills with the tub refinishing kit, or save on home heating costs with the permanently attached draft stopper.

The possibilities were endless. I was pretty proud of my patriotic take on the economic front after reading through the magazine. In fact, I was almost giddy thinking of the money we could save by a few well-placed purchases.

I showed the magazine to my husband. I expected he would see the benefits of my purchase ideas and share my enthusiasm. Instead, he suggested our biggest money savings would come from throwing the magazine in the garbage.

As I told him, that's the narrow-minded thinking that got this country into the economic mess we're facing today.