Honoring a mother's love

Honoring a mother's love

To those of you who open your hearts to others, this is your day. You are the nurturing people we honor on this Mother's Day.

Sometimes we make the mistake of only honoring those who gave us birth. And while they certainly do deserve every honor bestowed upon them, many "mothers" are people who assumed the role of mother in our lives.

Not necessarily mothers by birth, they are the people who have taken the time to love us through the hard times as well as the good times. They are the "mothers" who gave us advice as we were going through difficult times. Or the "mothers" who saw to it that we were picked up after school . or from the mall ... or from a situation we found threatening.

They are the people who have stood over us and guided us as we maneuvered our way through this life.

And if our birth mothers can't be there, these are the people who step up and gladly take on the mothering role.

A perfect example of such a mother is Joanne Gray and her husband Bryan, of Columbus Grove. Although their birth-children are nearly grown, they are now making room in their home, and their hearts, for a toddler.

The couple serve as foster parents through the Allen County Children Services. "It's something we had thought about doing for a long time, but we wanted to wait unil our own kids got older," Joanne explained.

Their request to that agency had been to foster older children. However, one day the call came for their help in taking in a hard-to-place 18-month old.

"At first, I wondered whether I could even do that any more. I mean, take in a baby? I had to really think about what I needed, and what are the new rules. It had been a long time since we'd had little ones. I had to find out about the car seats, how they work, what age can they move to a booster ..."

Of course, this being Mother's Day, you can fill in the blanks on how it worked out.

As the situation evolved into the youngster being able to be adopted, Joanne and Bryan decided to begin again the role of parenting and adopt the little boy who by this time had been with them 18 months.

"He didn't know anything but us, and we couldn't imagine not having him around," Joanne said of their new 3-year-old son.

"He's been a whirl of energy since day one, and a lot of fun," she said.

As her birth baby graduates from high school this month, Joanne said it's the support of her family that has allowed the couple to start over.

"We talked to our kids about this first, and we'd never have done it without their blessing," Joanne said.

Friends were split on the Gray's decision.

"We had some people remind us that we're just at the point of having more freedom, and we've had others tell us they miss having little ones around. For us, this just feels right. And being a mother is different this time around because I'm in a different place in life, both financially and maturity-wise. I think I'm going to enjoy it more, because I can relax and be more comfortable," Joanne said.

And as my own mother, who opened her heart to adopt one of her four children, always reminded us, a mother's love encircles every child, regardless of whether they grow under her heart, or in it.

Kim Kincaid writes about the big and little things that involve area residents. If you have an item of interest, call her at 419-993-2059 or 800-686-9924. She can be reached by e-mail at kkincaid@limanews.com.