Busy moms tell all

LIMA — Lady Justice works outside the home, and her scales always appear balanced. However, most moms who juggle career and family life find most days are more like a seesaw. On this Mother's Day, The Lima News suggested one of those jugglers (me) talk with some other busy women about how they hang on through the ups and downs and ever-shifting priorities.Nobody here wants to pick a fight with spouses or stay-at-home moms. We're having a little fun today. Please take it in the spirit in which it's given, because we're too tired to argue otherwise.The following took 15 minutes out of their week to chat:•Jill Ackerman, 47, currently Lima schools assistant superintendent. In June she will become superintendent. She and her husband, Ron Ackerman, have a son, Christian, 5, who starts kindergarten in the fall at Liberty Arts Magnet.•Autumn Swanson, 33, director of the Court Appointed Special Advocate program in Auglaize and Putnam counties. Swanson has three daughters, Aja, 13, Asani, 9, and with her husband, Russel, Addy, 5 months.• Jessika Phillips, 30, president of NOW Marketing Group. She and her husband, Eric, have three daughters, Lily, 7, Macy, 5 and Breece, 3.• Dr. Manu Aggarawal, 36, physician at Vein Care Center. She and her husband, Samir Patel, have three daughters, Aria, 9, Alora, 7 and Ava, 5.Rise and shine!A common theme runs through these women's lives. When asked about a typical day, all of them said their mornings began by 5:30 a.m. Aggarwal works out first thing. Other women are getting ready themselves before they coax children out of their beds. Sometimes it's packing lunches or finishing laundry tossed in the wash the night before. And of course, while Swanson is feeding and diapering her baby, one of her elder girls usually picks the morning of to remember she needs a special something or outfit for Spirit Day or some such thing.“We're usually out the door by 8:15 and in the midst of this, my husband grabs his coffee and walks out the door,” Aggarawal says, laughing.Because her son is an early riser, Ackerman has become one too; it has become a time they have together before she begins crammed days and many times evenings. Also, Ackerman's husband starts his day even earlier, which means he's home to pick up Christian from day care and get dinner on the table.“I want to be clear about that,” Ackerman said. “I don't do that. I walk in the door and it's done.”Scheduled upWhether it's by planner, calendar on the wall or Suri inside the iPhone providing a reminder, these women are on task and scheduled.Sometimes, external events necessitate: “The girls are out the door by 6:50 a.m. because their bus comes at 6:57 a.m.,” Swanson said. Sometimes, it's by design. Aggarwal said she's strict with her work schedule and how she extends herself beyond her roles as a professional, mother and wife.Aggarwal just moved from a paper day planner to her phone synched with her computer. Phillips has been living with her life on her phone for a long time now, and said she couldn't live without it. She and her husband have their calendars synched so they can see what's going on with the kids and when things change. Suri, that near-human who lives in the iPhone, is a great help to Phillips, she said.“If I think of something to add to the grocery list, I tell Suri. When I get to the store at 11 p.m., she reminds me,” Phillips said.Phillips and Swanson said they are fortunate to have jobs with some flexibility built in. If they need to take a daughter to a practice at 3 in the afternoon, they can do it. Phillips, who has 16 employees, builds that in for her employees. Most of them work from home on Fridays.Ackerman often has evening responsibilities, but looks for opportunities to share them with Christian.“The last two weeks, there has been something going on every night,” Ackerman said about the typically busy end of school year time. “I try to focus on things Christian can come with me to that we can enjoy together, the arts, ball games, things like that.”The women use technology differently, but Ackerman and Swanson made a point of saying they don't look at emails all night long and aren't on the computer at home.“I use it at work to work smarter and multitask,” Ackerman said. “I work really hard during the week so I don't have to haul things home over the weekend.”Phillips occasionally has to travel for work, and uses the Facetime application to see and talk to her daughters while she's away.Quality, not quantityThe modern family measures family time by quality, not quantity, and makes room for it in differing ways.Phillips said she and her husband continue to reserve dinnertime as an anchor in the day and week. Aggarwal finds it in other ways, watching movies, planting flowers, or riding bikes as a family.Saturdays and Sundays are not to be messed with at the Ackerman house. Saturday mornings are reserved for cleaning (as they are for so many families) and then it's all family time.Moms said they do find small patches of time for themselves. Swanson likes gossip magazines and Food Network. Aggarwal doesn't single any one little pleasure out, but said she tries to keep herself healthy to keep up with all her responsibilities. Ackerman keeps up with a soap opera she's watched since high school. Phillips uses drive time to clear her brain, even if only for a few minutes.“People ask what I listen to in the car. It's nothing,” Phillips said. “No music, no news, nothing. Silence.”To a woman, these moms said their work makes them better parents. They have fulfilling careers and also make time to serve their communities through civic or charity work and believe in the importance of showing that to their children. They've become good at saying “no” as often as they say “yes.” And they have a deep appreciation for people in their lives who help, equal partners in spouses their children can see productive relationships and families in, and family members and sitters who often save the day, even in a pinch.“I think traditional roles are changing. We're getting more creative in ways to raise our families,” Aggarwal said. “I love it. If I could be reborn a thousand times, I'd always be a woman.”